“You
have nothing, and neither have you had anything to be proud of” were the exact
words of my elder brother on that small sticky note as I refused his job offer yet
again. Geetika, my girlfriend looked at me with exhausted eyes, “you’re 27 and
jobless, your brother is the second richest businessman in the city who’s
caring enough to vouch for you, you don’t have money to pay your half of the
rent or electricity bills or gas bills or the taxes or anything that requires
money. You still survive on the pocket-money I give you and you seem to have no
plan regarding how you’re gonna change all of this” and this was the exact
lecture I was given by her before she left me. I was a contractor and I had no
idea about how my life was going to be designed by me.
It was
not like I didn’t have had my share of opportunities, I did and in fact, I had
some of the best opportunities one could ever ask for, a 50 million project
which required making a flyover for the government. I couldn’t take up the
project due to the risk of removing 5000 slum families that somehow managed to
succumb in that small area, no compensation; they had to be just removed to be
rehabilitated into the suburbs from where they had to walk 23 kilometers before
reaching to work. And I had to be the one to convince them to do that without
reason, I couldn’t and so I quit. The project went into suspension for the next
6 months before my brother took it up. He removed the poor people with legal
help and started immediately with what could be the next proud architecture of
the city. People went into a hunger strike against the government, others
revolted, well it ended within 15 days, already starved people couldn’t keep up
the hunger strike for long, and were admitted into hospitals, others were sent
to jail and the remaining rammed in the orphanages which seemed like a worse
idea than the jail. As for me, I’d lost my first opportunity and was off with a
bad remark and my life could only be seen as something spiraling downward.
Today
was a new day, the 93rd new day since my girlfriend left me and I
was kicked out of our house and I had to move in to the old government quarters
which were lent to poor and old people for free. My food was somehow arranged
by one or another household, my electricity bill was unpaid and pending, every
day the electricity van came and I pulled in the wire which I had joined
illegally to the main line for electricity in my house, sometimes my neighbors
did it for me. I opened my inbox and there was the new streak of hope for me in
the unread messages, I had a job offer from Mr. Tushin Agarwal the city’s
richest businessman although, he was also known for his crooked mind alongside his
riches. As I stepped into his office filled with 5 other men, I saw him sitting
comfortably in his chair smoking a cigar. “I thought you wouldn’t show up” he
said looking at me and motioned me to sit down, before I could sit down, he
started speaking “there’s one thing I want to tell you before I begin, if you
have a decision to make with some benefits and some losses, when both losses
and benefits are considerable then if the benefits are more go forward with it,
rather than regretting later. There’s an enclave to be built in the government
quarters in the city, it’s a 50 acre land in the middle of the city waiting for
some brilliant infrastructure to be endured upon, government is paying us with
6.5 billion for 26 buildings to be constructed there. I’ve gathered you people
here to perform that task for me. One of you will be given ten million bucks in
advance by me, and you either finish this job or I’ll kill you. If you want to
leave, you can leave now or else you’ll have to pay me 15 million in case you
choose to leave. Just one last thing, convince me, why I should give you that
flashing check with proud 7 zeroes when there’s so many people I could give it
to?” he finished speaking and looked at each of us. Two people immediately left
the room, the other three gave him his resumes and left, he looked at me as I
handed him my resume “there’s one thing I want to tell you before you think
your next thought, someone once told me that I have nothing now and
neither have I ever had anything to be proud of. He was right and I have
nothing to hold me back from finishing this job” I said, staring confidently
into his eyes. I waited for a moment for his reaction but it seemed like either
he’d seen so many of these melodramatic outbursts or he was too stunned to
respond, either way I turned around and walked out of his office.
As I stepped on the same old bus which carried
me home to the reality, far away from the majestically luring heights I began
thinking like a human again. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for all this, maybe I could
just be another desk person in my brother’s office nibbling away at the vile
pieces he’d throw at my way now and then. I couldn’t become the demon I feared,
even if the need of time was otherwise. I stepped out of the bus, my mind fixed
on the thought of quitting the job in case it came strolling my way, maybe I’d
search for something more subtle to vanquish in rather indulging in this war of money and
lies. A loud honk broke my alluring stargaze as I looked at the white Mercedes
in front of me, there was the devil I’d been avoiding in my nightmares, Mr. Tushin.
Before I could say anything he opened his gate and put down a briefcase on the
ground, “you forgot to pick this up” he said and drove away. I stood there, analyzing the trap that was planted in the briefcase, ready to pounce upon me at sight,
I couldn’t decline walking into it, maybe money does make a man lose his senses. With
shaking hands I picked it up and walked up to my government quarter which I was
about to destroy with this weapon of lethality I was cradling in my arms.
Standing in front of my iron gate of lavishness I said to me, “if it has to be
then it may be so. Fuck everything else” I placed the brown leather case on my
table and without even caring to look inside, a wicked smile grew on my face, a
smug ecstasy of achievement I guess the rusty taste of villainy isn’t so much
bitter after all.
My
brother must have been astonished and furious as he’d have read that sticky
note which said “I have nothing, and neither have I ever had anything to be
proud of, and that’s why I can’t be afraid of losing anything” delivered along with the
photocopies which claimed me to have become a millionaire in an instant and his
defeat in making me his bitch. I guess he must have banged his fist on the
table and screamed at one of his employees as if this were their fault. I
could only guess as I stood in front of the call center where Geetika worked.
As I marched into her office, a few others noticed but she definitely was
confused and stunned to see me there so suddenly after such a long time,
although in my mind it was just like yesterday when she left me. She opened her
mouth to speak but words failed her “Fuck you” I said, her eyebrows shot up as
I paused for a moment before blurting out the rest, “fuck the taxes, fuck the
rent and everything else. Even if I’m broke, even if I have to live off the
pocket-money you give me, I don’t care, even if you think I’m not worthy
according to you and even if you think every single moment of ways in which you
could get rid of me I won’t stop loving you. I love to look you in the eyes, nudge
that small little nose of yours, fondle your ears, prod your cheeks, play with
the streaks of your hair as you sleep like a baby in my arms, I can’t live
without grabbing you by the waist when you’re looking away, play with your hand
as we watch idiotic girly flicks snuggled under the same blanket with you
crammed up against me on the sofa, tickle your legs and kiss your lips god I
can’t live enough of this life if I don’t kiss you again” I stopped as I ran
out of my breath while her eyes rose up higher than before as she stood there
staring at me, “and I know I’m a complete idiot, and I fight with you every
day, irritate you even though you’ve done so much for me, complain even when
you love me so much and don’t stop when I know I have to and I end up hurting
you always. But I swear to god, I’ll quarrel with you every day for that one
sweet ‘I love you’ you say to me in that amazing tone after my desperate
efforts when you finally forgive me and I promise, I’ll argue with you to hear
you snap at me cause I find you so turning on when you’re angry at me” I
stopped for a second and grabbed her in my arms, her arms wrapped around me and
my eyes shuttered down slowly as our lips met, slowly I dissolved into the
pleasure of caressingly mystical emotion called love. Her sweet smell carried
me away into another world of wondrous perfectness, and as I clutched her
tighter clasping her existence into mine, I could hear her heartbeat against
mine, and I could feel her again and I felt complete. “You’re not broke are
you?” she asked me pulling away, as she gasped for breath, “Actually, I am” I
replied with a wink, smiling at her she looked at me for a moment then saying
“whatever” moved her face near to mine, I pulled away “what?” she said looking
at me confusedly, “I’m kidding, I just got a huge contract” I replied “well
that makes you even sexier” she said and merged with me again.
Written By:
Atul Shrotriya
Assisted By:
Assisted By:
Himanshu Bhardwaj
